In This Bright Future, You Can't Forget Your Past
by fitzybeag
Summary: After the death of her brother in the trenches, Daisy, with the help of Anna, reminisces on her childhood in Ripon. Reviews are highly appreciated!


For one of the first times since war broke out, the servant's hall was merry. Giggles drifted under the door and throughout the ground floor, and the sound was a relief to all who overheard it. Branson had them all cracking up with his impressions of various politicians and world leaders. Some of the senior members of staff had to shoot him a glare when the jokes got too crude, but otherwise the reigns were kept loose. At least it had Daisy smiling, which was a rarity these days. William never left her mind.

Mrs Hughes stood unnoticed in the doorway, smiling to herself sadly as she took in the scene. She didn't want to disrupt the happy gathering, but she was the bearer of bad tidings. Finally Branson noticed her and jumped out of his chair, a cheeky grin stretched from cheek to cheek. Everyone else followed suit. Mrs Hughes signaled for everyone to sit, and cleared her throat.

"I'm afraid to say I've received some bad news today. Daisy, if you'd like to follow me into my office."

Daisy's eyes quite resembled those of a rabbit caught in headlights. Everyone else exchanged worried glances, an ill feeling in the pit of their stomachs that the news had something to do with their beloved second footman. As Daisy filed out of the room with the weight of the world on her shoulders, Anna put a reassuring hand on her arm. The girl needed any reassurance she could get.

o0o0o

Mrs Hughes rarely had the occasion to speak with Daisy, except for orders or the odd scolding. So it was no wonder that the young kitchen maid was literally shaking in her presence. Mrs Hughes felt for her and took Daisy's hands in her own across the desk.

It was silent for a few moments, as the wiry housekeeper struggled to find the right words.

"I've got word, Daisy, of another death in the trenches."

Daisy immediately crumpled like a dry autumn leaf, and fell to pieces in the chair, sobbing and curling into herself. To her there was only one man fighting over in France, only one man crawling through those muddy trenches. Losing William was the same as losing the war in her eyes.

"W-Williams dad, does he know?" Daisy sobbed, her hands over her face.

"William's dad…?" Mrs Hughes questioned, completely lost. Then it struck her. "Oh, sweet divine, child! William's alive and well! It's your brother, Buck. He was killed a few weeks ago."

Daisy's tears subsided, much to Mrs Hughes surprise. "Buck?" she echoed blankly. "He's not even in the army."

"It appears he is, I'm afraid. Were you two close?"

Daisy didn't answer, just stared ahead into space. After what seemed like long minutes, she broke out of her daze and stood up. "I'm sorry, Mrs Hughes, would it be alright if I were excused. I've got to tend to the stove."

The housekeeper could only nod, worriedly.

Daisy was out of the office faster than Mrs Hughes could say _'I'm sorry for your loss.'_

o0o0o

The other servants found out soon enough that it wasn't William who had perished in the trenches. Anna's first reaction of joy quickly subsided to guilt as she thought more about the boy who had died instead. Anna, like everyone else, knew very little of Daisy's family and home life.

She made her way into Daisy's small bedroom through the scullery, and found the girl sitting on the floor, staring straight at the wall. She usually would have jumped at the sight of an intruder, but her eyes barely flickered. Anna knew something was wrong.

"Daisy?" she called out quietly, bending down to her level. "What are you doing on the floor?"

Daisy shook a little, but couldn't bring herself to look at the older maid.

"Come on, pet," Anna whispered soothingly, "Let's get you into bed."

She was surprised at how light Daisy was, and she fortunately didn't put up a fight as she was led up onto the bed.

They sat on the bed together, hand in hand. "Tell me about him. Your brother."

At last Daisy looked her in the eye, her lips trembling. "Not much to say, really." Her voice was weak.

"Was he your only brother?"

Daisy almost smiled. "Nah. There were 11 of us. Mostly lads."

Anna's eyes grew wide. It was hard to imagine little Daisy in a house of boys. "Sounds like a handful for your mum and dad."

Daisy squirmed uncomfortably. They sat in silence, so close Anna could hear the girl's heart beating like a frightened mouse.

"Ms Hughes tells me you didn't know Buck was even in the army," murmured Anna.

She nodded, but left it at that.

"It must've been a long time since you've written home, then." As she thought about it, Anna couldn't recall Daisy ever getting a letter from home.

"They can't." Daisy's voice was so soft it was almost inaudible.

"They can't what?"

"Read or write."

The older maid could think of nothing to say or do, so she pulled Daisy into a warm hug, enveloping her in a warmth she most likely had never experienced.

They sat up like that long into the night.

o0o0o

Daisy was always first up, without exception. That's why she was surprised that for the first time in her life at Downton, she was being shaken awake. She shot up like a firework, hurrying to get on with her duties without even realizing Anna was standing in the cramped bedroom.

"Anna? What are you doing in here?"

Anna tossed Daisy a dress. "I thought we deserved a day off. I've got Mrs Hughes' approval."

Utterly confused, Daisy changed into the dress without further questions.

o0o0o

The two maids arrived in Ripon around luncheon, wary of the day that lay ahead.

"Ripon?" exclaimed Daisy, taking in her surroundings. "Why here?"

Anna threw her eyes to heaven as they walked through the town centre. "I didn't just fall off the turnip truck, you know. So where is it?"

The young brunette should have guessed as much. Anna had obviously asked Mrs Hughes for an address of her home.

"Anna, don't make me do this," Daisy pleaded, shutting her eyes tightly as though to block out the brightness of the day.

"Come on, pet, I'm not here to upset you," soothed Anna, throwing an arm around her younger companion. "You just lead the way."

They strolled in silence mostly, up narrow alleys and down bustling shopping streets. Finally, they left the prosperous shoppers behind and stumbled through the more derelict part of town. They stopped outside a dilapidated slum, where it was hard to tell what were homes and what were ruins. Window panes were smashed or missing, and the roofs fell in on themselves in some areas. Screeching babies and barking dogs were the only sounds to be heard.

Anna looked down at her feet. She had grown up far from wealthy, but her more rural home was a manor in comparison. She couldn't help but feel slightly ashamed.

"This is it then," said Daisy concentrating hard not to show any emotion.

Anna sat down on a low wall, taking in the building from afar. "Doesn't look like anyone's at home, does it?"

Daisy shrugged. "It always looked like that. My mum's probably in there now."

"And your dad? Does he work?"

Daisy picked up a piece of rubble and played with it thoughtfully. "Never an honest day's, that's for sure. Last I heard he was in prison."

Anna had to rely on her best acting skills to seem unfazed by all of this. None of it added up. Not for Daisy, anyway. "What about your brothers and sisters?"

"I haven't spoken to them for years. None turned out too well."

Anna smiled and nudged her gently. "I guess you got all the talent in the family, then."

She shook her head grimly. "Buck got all the brains. He could've been whatever he wanted, you know. But he gave it up, all for me."

"Don't say that Daisy."

Daisy walked off, leaving Anna no choice but to follow. "Buck and me were the closest," she continued. "Our dad, he used to get mad and one night he was beating me. When he was done he locked me in the wardrobe for two days, until Buck rescued me and we ran away."

Daisy led the way down a damp alley. At the end was the doorway of an abandoned building. "We slept here for three weeks. We'd beg and steal to get food. It was handy cos I could sing and he had found a harmonica to play along with. Our dad found us after a while, brought us home and beat us so hard we were in bed for days. We were too scared to even try and run away again."

"Buck sounds like a fine young man," noted Anna,

"Buck was more like my dad than a brother. He found this old beggar who could read and write, and he got him to teach me in exchange for his harmonica. I could never repay him for that. A few years later, he even got me a job."

"It was Downton, wasn't it? The job, I mean."

Daisy nodded. "Not long after I was hired, Buck followed in my dad's footsteps. He drank heavily and he hung around with a bad gang. I visited him once in prison, but then we just lost contact. I suppose he joined the army after being released."

They stopped walking and Anna took her hand. "So, do you think you're ready to visit home?"

Daisy took a deep, shaky breath and nodded.

o0o0o

Daisy stood outside the door, picking her nails nervously. Anna was stood on her left like a guard dog.

"I don't think anyone's here, maybe we should –"

The door was swung open by a rough looking young woman. She was no more than a year or two older than Daisy.

"What?" she grilled, a young baby held casually over one arm.

Daisy was speechless, so Anna took over. "Is Mrs Robinson in? I'm Anna, and, well, I think you know who this is."

The sister cocked an eyebrow incredulously. "Daisy? I thought we'd seen the last of you years ago. You found out about Buck, I'm guessing."

Daisy frowned. "With no help from any of you."

Her sister laughed out loud. "Oh, I'm sorry! I had no idea Miss High and Mighty requested we take a trip all the way out to the countryside every time some old beggar gets himself killed!"

"Sarah, just let me see mum."

She sighed and led them through to the dark house. Mrs Robinson was lying on an old mattress in the kitchen space, blankets bundled around her. All they could see was her hollow, weather-beaten face poking out at the top.

Daisy bent down to her level. "Mum?"

The woman didn't stir, just continued staring straight ahead at nothing.

"Mum? It's me, Daisy."

Sarah groaned and roughly pulled her sister up. "Get lost, girl. Your money is the only use you serve in this family. Don't pretend you're one of us."

Before Daisy could open her mouth, Anna had grabbed her by the arm and was yanking her out the doorway. "Come on Daisy," she said, determined. "We've to be back before the Dressing Gong."

Anna was still holding onto her as they made their way out into the brightness of the Ripon afternoon, and onto a lively shopping street. Daisy felt tears well up in her eyes as Anna grabbed hold of her narrow frame and looked at her head on.

"Daisy Robinson, look at me right now."

It took a few moments, but she brought herself to look into the older maid's familiar blue eyes.

"I will not have you shed tears for people who are not worth your time."

"But they hate me, Anna!" she cried, bringing a trembling hand to her mouth, "If even my own family can't love me, who can?"

"Let me tell you something." Anna's eyes were fierce, fueled with rage after what she had heard and witnessed this afternoon. "Your family is home in Downton Abbey. Think of Ms Patsmore – I know for a fact that she loves you like the daughter she never had! And then there's me and the other housemaids. We're your sisters, Daisy!"

Now neither girl could fight the tears. Anna held her close, their tears mixing and heartbeats clashing.

"Anna," whispered Daisy, taking her companion's hand. "Can we go home?"

Anna laughed through salty sobs. "My thoughts exactly."

THE END


End file.
